Well folks, it seems as if I have dug myself into a hole. For almost seven years, I have been advertising myself online as a top. I basically spent all of my college years trying to convince people that I wasn't a bottom.
However, despite the fact that I've been promoting and performing "VGL 5'4" Top" for the last three years, I've become a lot more relaxed about my dynamic in the bedroom, and I like to think I'm very open about this. In conversation and in text, I make sure to clarify that I am currently an exclusive top when it comes to penetration, but I can be submissive when it comes to other activities. And sometimes I really like to be.
But now fate is laughing at me, because after struggling for half of a decade, I am starving to be submissive...dying to be dominated...and suddenly everyone wants the little guy to be the big boss in the bedroom! It is flattering, of course, and I welcome the attention always, but I despite being a top in the booty-banging department, taking charge in the sack is not something I am good at, nor have I ever claimed to be. But when I try to tell my prospective partners this, they don't want to hear it.
I am very grateful that these past few months have brought me plenty of partners who happily invite me in through their back door. Mine is still closed to the public, but it has been over a year since I've been able to surrender to someone else, and lately it's been sounding really good.
Listen, I get it. We all have fantasies, and most of them involve extreme dominance or submission. Unfortunately, everything is not black and white. My power dynamic fluctuates, and I don't want to feel forced into a role that I never signed on to play in the first place. I don't want to be a total top, and I don't want to be a bottom bitch. I just wanna be me. And in my experience, that's a lot more fun.