Weddings are So Weird

One of the strangest things about growing up is seeing people in the same generation as you getting married. When you're a kid, it always seems like some boring thing that grown-ups do that your mom and dad make you get dressed up for. As you get older, you slowly realize that you are one of those grown-ups, and the horror of reality sets in.

Anyway, the point is, I went to my cousin's wedding this weekend. I've been to a couple of weddings over the last couple years for people who are close to my age, but that doesn't make it feel any less weird that it's happening. My cousin is a couple of years older than me, but since she helped change my diapers when I was an infant (as she reminded me when I came out to her) it's one of the ultimate signals of certain adulthood.

The ceremony was lovely, I suppose. Being an agnostic homosexual with a theater degree, traditional Christian wedding ceremonies never do much for me. I can only think about all of the glitter and pyrotechnics I would add if I were in charge, and how I wish they would stop talking about God and let the happy couple hog all of the attention on their special day. But I realize I am a minority in this school of thought. That being said, the bride and the groom and the whole wedding party all looked absolutely gorgeous and I think the newlyweds and their families got exactly what they wanted and I'm very happy for them.

What I wore.

Now where's the bar?

As always, the reception was where the party really started. I'm sure my relatives will notice a huge difference in my relationship with the dance floor from when I was a kid versus now. I used to find dancing at weddings absolutely revolting, in the way children usually do. Everyone thinks it's so cute when the little kid dances and I had no interest in partaking in such behavior. Stop trying to make me do cute things! Now, however, I daresay I may have very well been the life of the dance floor. My little cousins certainly seemed to think so. It's a reputation I had during middle and high school, but it's been quite a while since I've had an opportunity to truly cut loose, and it was a very happy reunion.

The highlight of my evening, however, was when I caught the garter. I KNOW! (To be fair, I didn't catch it. It landed on the floor closest to me and nobody else reached for it.) I didn't even realize this was a thing. Everyone always sees the bride throw the bouquet, but the groom and his garter are always ignored. I never saw this happen in movies so I had no idea what to do. They told me I had to put it on the bouquet-catcher's leg, all sexy-like. I didn't know the girl, but she should be very happy she had an experienced burlesque performer doing this, because I was pretty frickin' awesome.

After a couple more hours of dancing and drinking, the party came to a close, and I accompanied my recently single cousin (the bride's brother) to the hotel bar and attempted to play his wingman as he macked on some random chicks. And apparently...I was really good? I thought I was awkward as hell, as usual, but the following morning the mother of the bride was telling me how she heard I was an awesome wingman. And garter-catcher/dancer. Maybe I should look into a career in wedding entertainment?

It was a terrific night though. I really don't give my family enough credit for how much fun they can be, but they definitely know how to party when the time is right. I am incredibly happy for my cousin and her new husband and I wish them the best.