Don't Rain on My Parade

Every year, just before Pride, I end up having to endure some form of lecture or rant about why someone isn't going to the parade. This weekend I asked a friend of mine if he planned had any festivities planned and he replied with something about how he discovered his Pride his own way and doesn't need a bunch of go-go boys dancing around pretending we're a community (not a direct quote, but pretty close.)

This got under my skin when he said it, but I can't argue with his statement as a whole. I can honestly say that Pride is my favorite holiday. I spent the entire year looking forward to it. I have a hard time letting myself relax and let go, and it's one of the few days a year when I truly let myself run amuck. But I can still notice the flaws in the system.

There is certainly a great deal of nakedness at every Pride celebration, but to tell the truth, I think the nakedness is important. After all, sexuality is a primary element in LGBT pride, and I think it ought to be celebrated. However, I think it ought to be celebrated more evenly across the board. Meaning, every body type has the right to parade around in as little clothing as they want, not just the buff boys. 

There are way too many groups and floats in the parade every year that rely too heavily on this archetype. I checked out the "gigs" section on Craigslist about a week ago and everybody and their mom was seeking "hot, muscular men" to march with their float. Real creative, guys. The hunks get the spotlight every other day of the year. How about inviting some other folks to strip?

As I watch the parade from the sidelines, I nearly always end up stuck next to some asshole commenting on everyone else's appearance. I know it's hard to fight the instinct, because our cunty culture does nothing to discourage this habit, but this is NOT the appropriate occasion to carry that attitude. You may want your sunglasses or an umbrella to protect you from the sun, but leave the rest of your shade at home. I think you'll have a much nicer time.

I know everybody wants to get drunk and laid on Pride, but we need to bear in mind that Pride is a celebration for everyone. A celebration OF everyone. No one should be made to feel anything less than beautiful on this day. Everyone deserves the chance to be sexy. I feel like I say this every year, but next year, I'm going to dress skanky as fuck.