Not Much Happens LIVE

Yesterday's post poking at Perez seemed to get a good response from the peanut gallery, so I'm thinking that today I should continue on with the theme of famous homosexuals that I can't stand. Let's talk about Andy Cohen, shall we?

At the beginning of this week I discovered Saturday Night Live's recent parody of "Watch What Happens LIVE" and had myself a good giggle. But I realized as I started watching that despite my extreme annoyance with Andy's existence, I had never actually watched the show.

My dislike for Andy Cohen is rooted in a time before I actually knew that he was the Executive Vice-President of Bravo. My first introduction to him was at the Cubbyhole, where I saw him on several occasions sipping a cocktail with a chum while reveling in his own show playing on the TV. Needless to say, that night, "Watch What Happens LIVE" was definitely not happening LIVE. Shortly after that, I started seeing his face pop up all over cabs and subway stations, grinning at me as if whispering "I'm Andy Cohen. I have a career. Who the fuck are you?" It filled me with fury because, to my knowledge this man had no prior accomplishments and somehow managed to get his own talk show. Then I wiki'd him one day, and it all came together. It's still annoying, but not nearly as annoying as it was before.

However, I refuse to let myself criticize anything without actually experiencing it. so last night I took some time to investigate the situation via Hulu. I only managed to watch about an hour's worth of five-minute segments, since no full episodes were available, but having watched the SNL parody prior to the real deal, I have to say I was impressed with how blatantly self-absorbed Andy wasn't. To tell you the truth, I found him to be almost...charming. Eew. Certainly, for a talk show he dedicates way too little time to his guests, and the camera angles place way too much focus on him, but I can't say that I found him immediately unlikable.

That doesn't mean, however, that the show isn't unlikable. To speak plainly, I have no idea why this show exists.Very rarely does Andy seem to interview anyone relevant or interesting, and when he does, they don't really talk that much about their work. It's all a bunch of games, which is fine if that's the point of the show, but it really manifests itself in a bunch of nothingness. Therefor, my concluding theory is that Andy Cohen wants to be surrounded by fame so badly that he worked his way to the top, created a bunch of nonfunctional celebrities, and invented a show where he could show America that he hangs out with famous people. Nice move, Andy, but that's what Twitter's for.

In short, I can see how Andy has made it so far in life with his surprisingly likable personality, but I do not feel that this program is a practical use of airtime. The title does sound intriguing, but as SNL's Taran Killam says in the sketch "The show is live, so anything can happen! But don't worry...nothing will." Fact.