Many aspects of my life revolve around sex. I blog about sex. I teach people about sex. A lot of my performance pieces have something to do with sex. So you'd think that I'd be having a lot of sex, right?
Since the beginning of 2012, I have had exactly two sexual encounters. One of which was all the way, the other was not. And although it has only been a month and a half since my last, it feels like for-fucking-ever.
When I became a sex educator, I told myself that I was going to be more selective with my sexual partners and put forth more effort to play safe. I wanted to set a good example and practice what I preach...make sure I was having good sex with people I felt comfortable with. This, however, is not what I had in mind. And although most of it is beyond my control, I almost feel like I'm slacking off on the job...like a student who skips out on his homework assignment because he doesn't have his resources handy. Of course, celibacy is an option that many sex educators may choose, but I definitely do not want it for myself.
I fear that I have even grown tired of sex with myself, which is a dreadful thing. To anyone who is worried that sex toys can replace one's need for a human companion, I am living proof that this is not the case. Even my precious Tenga Flip(s) can't fill the gaping void that is my lack of sex life.
I almost feel like my sexuality is my power source. I go without any action for a while and I start to drag. When I do get some, I get that glow about me and I become more confident, not only sexually, but in everything else. I can't say things aren't going well for me career-wise, but with my burlesque debut coming up next weekend and a San Francisco trip to put together, I could really use that extra boost of confidence.
I have no idea how I'm going to end this draught, but whatever I'm doing now is definitely not working.