This afternoon I returned home from my final adventure for the summer: Dark Odyssey’s SummerFest. The conclusions of these events always involve a bucketful of feelings, and this time is no different. However, this time I returned home with a very different set, some of which are not so warm and fuzzy. I still had an awesome time, don’t get me wrong, but I left camp this morning feeling…unaccomplished…incomplete…and alarmingly frustrating.
Being a gay guy at a general kink event is always challenging. I’ve come to accept this. Very few of the men who come to these are interested in playing with men, and if they are, they often aren’t particularly open about it. Every now and then one of them throws a flirtatious comment my way, but even then I don’t really know what to do about it, because I comb the attendees list on Fetlife pretty thoroughly before each event and have a pretty good recollection of whose profile says “straight”.
At my last event I got better about approaching guys and expressing my interest, and on some occasions I actually scored a play date. But this time around, most (if not all) of the guys I would have approached were constantly in the company of a partner, which makes it very uncomfortable to hit on them, even in a sex-positive environment like this.
On top of that, most of them found opportunities to fuck openly in my field of vision. Exhibitionism and voyeurism are strongly encouraged at these events, which normally I am beyond satisfied with. But as I mentioned last week, I’ve been having some serious jealousy issues as of late, and watching the guys I’m lusting after play with other people right in front of my face made me grumpy, to say the least.
With my whining out of the way, some seriously awesome shit went down this weekend that I am super pleased about.
At the camp events, there is a kidnapping program, where victims can submit their kidnapping fantasies, and teams assemble to make them come to life. I had been thinking about signing up for the last year, and this time I finally decided to say ‘fuck it’ and see how it unfolds. I was really nervous about it, for several reasons. First, a guy asking for a team of guys to kidnap him is a bit of a bold move, for previously mentioned reasons. Also, I’m pretty damn vanilla in comparison to other attendees, so I was worried my fantasy would be a bit boring for the others. But a buddy of mine was a total rock star and made it happen, and we all had a terrific time. I’m undecided if I would do it again, but it taught me a lot about setting up a scene for myself and asking for what I want. I feel like I’m finally starting to get the hang of this kinky stuff.
My first class/event was a Pervert Show-&-Tell, where I encouraged campers to bring their favorite sexual plaything, tell us about it, and demonstrate it’s use for the class. I brought my beloved Laid P.2, and sang it’s praises, but I basically ended up being the most vanilla person in the room. We learned about one man’s penile implant, which can be pumped up to aid his erections. I didn’t even know that was a thing! Everyone had a great time, and I’m hoping to do it again at future events (hopefully during a time slot that follows cocktail hour).
I also taught an awesome class on prostate massage with Strap-On Jo. This being our second time teaching together, we are finding that we work very well together. She’s totally a bad-ass when it comes to butts, so I feel pretty bad-ass by association. And I’m excited to say that it looks like you’ll be seeing quite a bit of collaboration between us in the future. This class felt like a massive milestone for me in a lot of different ways. While I like to think I know a good deal about butts, I’ve only gotten to teach butt play at length a couple of times. And as this was a hands on class, I was a bit nervous about my own performance. I honestly don’t have a whole lot of experience penetrating butts with anything but my cock, but I managed to make one demo bottom’s butt very happy using my fingers and a Pure Wand. And I learned that I really like playing with butts with my hands and toys, and want to do more of it on my own time. But the most inspiring part of all was looking around at all of the participants having their prostates played with, and seeing the looks of bliss on their faces, and hearing the moans of pleasure coming from their throats. I’ve been teaching sex for over three years now, but it wasn’t until this summer that I actually got to see my lessons put to use, and I can’t tell you how much of a difference it makes. Seeing the pleasure that I can bring to people’s lives gives me so much more pride in my job, and I’m really excited about what I will be doing with that in the future.
So yes, despite my grumpiness, I learned a lot about myself, my desires, and my skills at this event. And while the gratification was not immediate, I feel like I’ll be able to take what I learned this weekend and make future events infinitely more awesome. And also, make a lot of butts very happy.